We have been navigating pandemic life for over a year now. At this point, it may feel like we’ve put in “over-time” since the responsibilities in caring for our families increased around the clock. I am grateful for my family and the ability to care for them, but I must admit that I’ve experienced moments of feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and overlooked. And those feelings often leave me feeling defeated and searching for joy. Many times over the past year, I’ve wondered how my mom did it…if she ever had those feelings in the first place, and if she did, how she got through them. While I’m not able to have that conversation with her, I am thankful that she took the time to write down some of her thoughts, which we can now treasure and hold dear. Her written words opened my eyes to the secret of finding joy in marriage and motherhood.
Those are the words I found written by my mom in the margins of one of her favorite books, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. She had been reading a section in the book about God’s desire for wives to be joyful and fulfilled. I had heard those exact words before when my dad read them aloud at my mom’s homegoing celebration (before I became a wife and mom). However, reading her words with my own eyes allowed me to see them from a different perspective. I felt them from a wife and mother’s heart. I could tell from her words that she had not always been joyful in her wife and motherhood journey. At some point, she struggled with the tasks and responsibilities of caring for her family. I can relate.
The day-to-day tasks of being a wife and mom get the best of me when I focus more on the things I HAVE to do rather than on the people that I GET to serve. I have a feeling that my mom experienced something similar, that is until she came to the place of experiencing undeniable joy. How did she get there? It was not automatic, but it was a process. She allowed the Lord to BRING HER to that place by making an active choice day after day to sit at His feet, open His Word, and listen to what He had to say. The secret to her overwhelming joy was being in God’s presence! And in His presence, she experienced the fullness of joy as promised to us in Psalm 16:11. That time in His presence changed everything, including her heart and attitude about serving as a wife and mom.
Just as my mom discovered, we must understand that finding joy in marriage and motherhood does not come from the tasks or the duties we perform or even from the titles we wear. We cannot obtain it through the praise we receive (or hope to receive) for the work we do. Instead, it comes from the God that we worship and serve. It comes from being IN HIS PRESENCE. It is from that place that we are able to minister lovingly and ungrudgingly. The fill of joy we receive in His presence will overflow into our service to our families. So, sister, if you find joy lacking today as you serve your family, take some time to slow down and get in the presence of the Lord. Remember that what we do for our families is our service to the Lord (Colossians 3:23). Let His presence carry you, keep you, and fill you with the fullness of joy!
For helpful resources related to marriage and motherhood, check out my Freebies page, as well as suggested books on my Resources I Love page.
Let’s Get Practical: Reflect & Grow
- Where does your joy come from? Do you find it easy to be full of joy? Why or why not? Journal your thoughts.
- What frustrations, thoughts, or concerns about serving your family do you need to surrender to the Lord so that your heart is positioned to receive the fullness of His joy?
- Since joy is found in God’s presence, what is ONE practical thing you can do to prioritize spending intentional time in His presence each day (e.g. wake up earlier, stay up later, reduce time on social media or watching tv, etc.)? (Click this LINK to read my blog post on prioritizing regular time with God. You’ll also find resources to help guide you in your time with Him.)
Thank you for this message. No matter how old or how long it’s been i miss my mom daily. I pray and try to be a loving, caring and understanding mom. It is frustrating at times but when I leave this earth, I want my children to talk about me like you guys do about your beautiful Mother. Happy Mothers Day.
Thank you so much for your comment, Mrs. Norma. It really encouraged me. I can relate to what you stated, but I truly believe that your desire will be met because you have invited the Lord into your mothering journey through prayer! Know that He hears you, and even on days when it seems like you’re not making the impact you want to, your children will remember the beauty of your nurturing heart. Happy Mother’s Day to you!