Living with Purpose and Intentionality

Yesterday, I celebrated my 36^th birthday! I’m still in awe that I’m officially 36…ha! My 35th year was one for the books! In the days leading up to my birthday, I thought back on all that had happened over the past year, and I became filled with amazement at all God had done for me, in me, and through me. This post is a summary of my reflections and is written to inspire you, no matter your age, towards living your life with purpose and intentionality…two things that I set out to do at the start of my 35th year that ended up changing my life in ways beyond my wildest dreams.

My Decision to Live On Purpose

Sometime last year around my birthday, I felt a strong urgency to start taking life more seriously, as Psalm 90:12 (KJV) says, “to number my days, that I may apply my heart unto wisdom” (emphasis added). I had been inspired to do so largely because of the deaths of two women who made a tremendous impact on my life: my mother (Jennifer Brown Ervin, a pastor’s wife and mom of three who passed away in June 2008 at the age of 49) and Wynter Pitts (a wife and mom of four girls who passed away suddenly in July 2018 at the age of 38. I did not personally know Wynter, but I came to know her from afar through her ministry to preteen girls and podcasts she was featured on). Their deaths really opened my eyes to the importance of living with eternity in view. With these two women having passed away at young ages, it got me thinking that I want to make sure I fulfill whatever purpose I was put here to do before my time on earth comes to an end.

To that end, I did something I had never done before…I set a theme for my 35^th year of life. Now, I have never been one to make New Year’s resolutions because I know that I will not keep them. I’ve also struggled to set a vision and hard goals for each new year because of a fear of failure. (It puts an overwhelming pressure on me to commit to a goal that I don’t know if I can achieve. Is it just me?!) Well, feeling such an urgency, I knew that I had to commit to improving myself and focusing on pursuing God’s plan for my life. On September 24, 2019, I did just that, and that decision to commit to being focused and improving has resulted in a life that is nothing short of amazing!

As I reflect over the last year of my life, I would summarize it with these three words: freeing, intentional, and adventurous! And if there was a song to tie it all together, it would be my favorite hymn, Great Is Thy Faithfulness!

HOW LIVING WITH PURPOSE HAS BEEN FREEING

A year before turning 35, I left my corporate job to become a stay-at-home, homeschool mom, which was something that I knew God had led me to do. While I knew that I was following God’s lead in that area, I did not know how to manage all of the responsibilities of my life. I had said “yes” to various roles and activities outside of my home, but with four children and the added responsibility of homeschooling them, I realized that I no longer had the bandwidth to do it all. I began noticing that I wasn’t able to give my best to everything I was involved in, and certain things would go undone or half-done. I did not like that, so I began praying and asking God to show me what His priorities were for me in this season of my life. Over time, I strongly felt the need to focus on improving my relationship with Him, building my home, and caring for my family, which meant that I would have to let go of anything in my life that did not fit into those buckets.

Honestly, I was afraid to make the needed adjustments to my life. I struggled…OH, I STRUGGLED with letting each one go because I felt that I was expected to do it all. My mind would go back and forth with all of the reasons why I needed to continue…you know, all of the “what-ifs”, “it’s been this way for so long”, and “who else will do it”. I felt that saying no to things I had been involved in for so long would cause disappointment and chaos, and with my personality, I did not want to cause either of those. I pretty much got to a point where I was tormented and strained from trying to juggle it all. I knew I HAD to make a move, but I needed so much courage. I prayed SO HARD and even asked a couple of my closest friends to pray for me in that regard. I had to stop trying to control everything. I had to learn to trust that God would take care of every one of the activities I was leaving behind and provide for any roles that needed filling. Even more, I had to JUST SAY NO, realizing that it was completely okay to not have my life filled to the brim with thing after thing.

Talk about freeing! Once I had let go of anything that did not fit into the categories God led me to prioritize, I felt so much peace! It’s really unexplainable! I did not realize it at the time, but going through that elimination process freed me up to really hear God better and to see His activity in my life, which led to me becoming intentional.

HOW LIVING WITH PURPOSE MADE ME MORE INTENTIONAL

Having margin in my life to now focus on God’s priorities for me, I set a goal on my 35^th birthday to be intentional in my relationship with God, in my relationship with my husband, and in my relationship with each of my children. This required a mindset change. I had to learn to 1) make room for each relationship, 2) pay attention to the things happening around me and within me (to identify God’s activity/themes), and 3) study and learn the needs and desires of the people within my household (so that I could better connect with them).

My relationship with God
This one has taken the most time to improve, and it is still very much a work in progress! Details of what my time with God looks like will be discussed in a future post, but I will say that my time with Him does not look the same every day. Due to the ages and stages of my kids, I’ve had to learn to be flexible and creative in how I show up for my time with God. It’s something that I still struggle with to this day, but I am finding that the more I show up, the more He reveals to me about Himself, His ways, and the things He wants to do for me, in me, and through me.

By spending intentional time with God, I began to see that He wanted to use the story of my life and my experiences to encourage other women. I just didn’t know how to share it. It was a sense I could not shake, so with the same intentionality, I kept asking for direction and paying attention to the things going on around and within me. Eventually, my eyes were opened to the world of blogging, and through a process of faith, I was able to launch out into His purpose for me.

My relationship with my husband and kids
I first had to learn to see my role as a wife and mother from God’s perspective, which meant I had to (and still have to) go to the source (God’s Word) for instructions on how to perform these roles. I’ve also used tips and tools from various women and online ministries/tools (e.g. Chrystal Evans Hurst, Priscilla Shirer, iMom, Courtney Defeo, Lifeway Women, Marriage Today, Pinterest) to help me practically apply God’s Word to my marriage and mothering. I’m not at all a creative person, so these and other resources give me fun, thoughtful, and impactful ways to connect with my husband and children.

Now, I have to admit, this process has not been seamless. A lot of the learning and “research” happens at night while I’m rocking babies to sleep or once I’ve put them to bed. Then, I have to figure out a time to implement what I learn, and boy oh boy is that a challenge! However, I’ve found that being intentional in learning ways to connect with my family and actually doing what I learn strengthens those relationships and creates a closer bond between us. Some practical examples of things I’ve discovered and implemented over the last year include:

• family game nights (where we pull out cards and board games and play through the evening with lots of snacks on board!)
• family movie nights (at home) with personal snack caddies for everyone
• homemade pizza nights on Fridays during the summer months (which makes for fun-chaotic times when the kids help!)
• non-traditional dates with my husband that allow us to see each other in new ways (e.g. doing activities he likes to do, going to an arcade to play games (pre-COVID-19), at home formal dates where we dress up and eat a steak dinner served by the kids, etc.)
• 1:1 time with the big girls just talking or doing activities they enjoy (which is especially hard to do with everyone being home all the time now).
• Mom and Me Journaling with the big girls (where we write back and forth in a composition notebook about anything…their days, their struggles, their questions…nothing is off limits!)

We’re still working on consistency, but my family has embraced these activities, and it fills our tanks in immeasurable ways. Simply taking time to 1) be together and 2) do things they love creates priceless memories with my husband and kids.

HOW LIVING WITH PURPOSE HAS MADE MY LIFE ADVENTUROUS

Moving forward in faith as God led me to start this blog to women has definitely made me more sure of my purpose and bolder in fulfilling it. I am grateful to be trusted with this task and so excited to know that I’m doing what I was born to do! I didn’t understand all that God was doing or allowing to happening through the events of my life (and still fully don’t), but I now know it was for His purposes. To look back and see how strategic He has been in orchestrating and guiding the happenings of my life literally blows my mind. When you’re in the heat of the moment, it’s hard to see how any good will come of something difficult or bad, but I am so amazed at how all of the things I’ve been through and experienced are working together to now encourage and inspire the lives of women any and everywhere.

Then to think of the fears I had that almost kept me from launching this blog! Had I not moved ahead despite my fears, I would not know the amazing power of God to take what seems like an insignificant story and use it in ways beyond what my mind can comprehend. IT BLOWS MY MIND, and it increases my faith at the same time! I don’t know the full impact He’s making through this blog, but from the little He’s allowed me to know, I’m inspired to keep venturing with Him. He’s been so faithful!

Please don’t walk away from this post thinking I’ve mastered my goals because I have not. There are still improvements I need to make, techniques I need to refine, and new goals for year 36, but the point is that I’ve made a conscious effort to do the work and because of that, relationships have been strengthened, my life has been made richer, and others are being blessed.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Did you know that September has been designated as Self Improvement Month? Yep, it’s a thing! So before this month rolls out, what is one thing you can do to better yourself? Do you need to develop or improve your relationship with God? Do you need to focus on improving certain relationships? Do you need to work on developing a certain skill? Do you need to focus on improving your health, whether physical or mental? Do you need to figure out why in the world you’re on this earth? Well sister-girl, THE TIME IS NOW!! Ephesians 5:15-17 (CSB) says,

“Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise— making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So don’t be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Does it get any clearer than that?! If 2020 has taught us anything, it has taught us that we are not in control. We can’t control other people, and we definitely can’t control time. None of us knows how much longer we’ll be here, so it would be wise for us to do just what the verses above tell us…understand the Lord’s will. What are His priorities for you in this season of your life? How do you know what His will is? By being intentional…intentional in MAKING TIME for Him, intentional in SPENDING TIME with Him, intentional in the relationships and opportunities you seek out, intentional in watching and listening for God’s activity around you (through the words of a family member or friend, through current events or everyday happenings, through sermons and Bible study messages, through recurring thoughts, through your skills/experiences/gifts, and through your past/themes in your life…God can use any and all of that (and more) to speak to you).

When you begin living with purpose and intentionality, your mindset has to change. Being intentional means that you start to live your life ON PURPOSE WITH A PURPOSE. You pay attention to what is going on around you and within you, piecing it all together to make sense of your being here.

Why should we be intentional? Because God was intentional in making us. We are not afterthoughts. We were made ON PURPOSE FOR A PURPOSE. Don’t take my word for it!

Psalm 139:13-16 (CSB) says,

“For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made.
Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well.
My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret,
when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless;
all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.”

Ephesians 2:10 (CSB) says,

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.”

See, He has good works that have already been planned for you to do! Be intentional in knowing Him. Be intentional in serving Him. Be intentional in living your life for His approval alone so that He gets the glory.

It’s going to take work, dedication, persistence, and lots of grace, but YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH PURPOSE AND INTENTIONALITY! Do you know how I know? Because Christ will strengthen you to do it just as He continues to strengthen me. We’re in this together! Can I pray for you?

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