How to Thrive Despite Difficulties with Marva Smith

“Thrive” is not a word we typically associate with difficult seasons. Instead, it usually describes peak moments and seasons of life when things are going well and we are living life at its best. However, when overwhelming challenges and complexities arise, we often struggle to push past what we see and feel in the moment and find it hard to give intentional care to the areas of life that matter most. Yet, the Bible tells us that we can thrive despite difficulties (Jeremiah 17:7-8) as we trust and connect deeply to the One who came to give us abundant life (John 10:10). But practically speaking, what does that look like?

In this interview, I spoke with consultant, coach, and best-selling author, Marva Smith, about her book, Time to Thrive: A Busy Woman’s Devotional Journal. We talked about her heart behind the book and practical ways we can thrive despite difficulties and the busyness of life. You can listen to the audio version by clicking the play button directly below, or continue scrolling to read the interview. My questions to Marva are shown in bold, and her responses are shown in italics. 

LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW HERE:

READ THE INTERVIEW HERE:

Please share the heart behind your book and how thriving helps us to “live life to the full” as Jesus stated in John 10:10.

When I wrote the book, I had the sense that I wasn’t the only one feeling like I was trying to do all the things and do them well as a Christian woman, as a mom, as a wife, and as a career woman. I was feeling pulled in so many different directions, but I also sensed that God wanted us to know that there was hope – that there was a way to shine for Him without sacrificing our very selves. So, the book came about based on my struggles and my own coming to terms with how I can live a Godly life with all the things I have going on in my life. It also came out of what I’ve seen my clients going through, as well. When I coach women, a lot of times I hear, “I’m trying to do this, but then I have this going on, and I feel like I’m falling apart” or “I feel like I’m not being a good mom because this other thing is going on.”

So, “Time to Thrive” is just that encouragement for women to know that they are not alone and that there is hope. I believe that hope is found in God’s Word and specifically, in John 10:10. That is my favorite verse because it paints a picture of what the enemy’s intentions are, which are in stark contrast to what God’s intentions are for us. The enemy has this plan to kill, to destroy, to distract, to discourage, whereas God’s plan is for us to blossom, to flourish, to thrive, and to have life to the full. He does not want us to go through life and feel like we’re just getting through the day, but that we’re actually growing and enjoying the life that He’s given us.

In your book, you speak to eight core areas of a woman’s life (spiritual, family, emotional, personal growth, physical, career, social, and financial). How can a woman learn to thrive in each of these areas without sacrificing one area for another?

I think it’s how God leads us in particular seasons in our lives. My temptation is to try to thrive in everything all at once – to give my 100% to all of the areas of my life and feel guilty if I’m falling short in one or the other. But I don’t believe that’s the way God intended for us to live. I believe it’s more a matter of Him showing us what’s priority at a given season in our lives, and for us to lean into Him to fill those areas where we might be falling.

We have this view of balance that it has to be perfect on all sides, but I believe that’s unattainable because it’s too much pressure on us. It’s a matter of looking more at the priorities and values that are important to you in a given season of your life. Those things will change over time, particularly your priorities. For example, the things that I’m able to do now look different from when my kids were two and four. Now, they are teenagers. I don’t have to figure out if they have food. They’re going to sort it out for themselves. They’re much more independent and less dependent on me. So, my priorities have shifted, and I’m able to allot my time to different things.

Do you have any tips or tools you can share with women who are struggling to figure out what their priorities are in this season?

In the book, I share the Thrive Assessment. I created it based on a wheel of life where you look at the eight core areas of your life and assess how you are doing in those areas. For example, on a scale of one to ten, how are you doing in your finances? How are you doing in your emotional health? How are you doing in your physical health? Then, you will be able to see very clearly the areas that might need more attention or the areas that are doing well and you want to maintain. It gives you a glimpse of the changes that you can make. For me, it’s always my physical health because I don’t want to make time for exercise! I know I need to do that, so God will inspire me and give me moments where I can thrive in my health, as well.

You also share a manifesto in the book that encourages women to show up as their best selves, embrace and extend grace, and take responsibility and action. What are some practical ways women can live out this manifesto in difficult seasons of life?

It goes back to leaning into God and allowing Him to lead our lives. We have good intentions, but then, when life shows up and difficult circumstances hit, we are faced with choices. How do we actually thrive when life is hard?

The manifesto says, “I will show up as the best version of me. I will embrace grace and extend it to others. I will take responsibility and take action. No matter my circumstances, I will choose to thrive.”

The very word “thriving” suggests that we’re able to do these things in spite of the difficulties, in spite of the hard circumstances, and in spite of the challenges that we’re facing. So, on a practical level:

Showing up as your best self is being authentic.

It’s not the “fake it until you make it” mentality. It’s being real enough to say, “I need some help. I need some support. I’m having a hard time right now.” It’s having those safe spaces where we can be real with people in our lives that can support us and surround us. 

Embracing grace and extending it to others means we are first receiving that grace from Jesus.

It’s recognizing that we need a Savior and others need a Savior, as well. When we are in a difficult season, sometimes we think that others need to meet our needs and serve us and take care of us. But they may not have it in themselves to give. They may not have that space to serve and take care of us. So, we have to manage our expectations. We need to be less quick to judge, willing to forgive, and willing to just be grateful for what we do have.

Taking responsibility and taking action starts with us on our knees.

When we are taking responsibility, we ask God, “What is mine in this situation? What can I do?” It’s praying through difficult circumstances and asking God, “What is my next best step?” And then, it’s getting off of our knees and doing that thing. That thing may be resting. That thing may be taking a break instead of going to the next big function. It might be stepping back and allowing yourself to grieve or to go through that difficult circumstance to see what God is showing you instead of being on the treadmill of life and constantly going.

Thriving is about making those choices despite how difficult life might be, knowing it’s not going to be like that forever. 

What encouragement would you offer women for overcoming negative mindsets and unrealistic expectations as they seek to thrive in difficult seasons?

I believe we need to allow God to rewrite the script, to allow us to see life through His lens. We have a limited view. When we look at it through our own eyes, we’re not seeing what God is seeing. We are not seeing the deliverance on the other side. We’re not seeing the promised land. We are just seeing the wilderness. So, how can we allow God to rewrite our script? It means that, sometimes, we have to go back to the Bible and hold on to those verses. We can use the Word of God as daily affirmations that we can repeat and say, “God, I believe your promises to be true. I believe that You will see me through this.” And sometimes, it might mean getting some extra help. It might mean going through some counseling or therapy that can then help us to literally rewrite the script.

Up until recently, I’ve had one particular thought that’s been running through my head for most of my life, which is that I just can’t win. I recognized, in meeting with a therapist, that lie has been running my life. But what does the truth of God say? It says that I am a conqueror. It says that I am going to overcome because Jesus already has. It says that I am victorious. So, we do have to replace those lies with truth so that we can move forward and thrive.

Life is unpredictable, and the practices we initially put in place may not work in every season. What practical wisdom can you offer to help women adjust and maintain a thriving lifestyle as the seasons of life change?

The first thing I would say is to regularly take stock of where you are and how you’re doing. I think that the Thrive Assessment I mentioned earlier is a great way to do that. It’s really about stepping back and seeing how your life is going. How are you doing in your relationship with God, in your relationship with others, in taking care of your body, and in taking care of your health and all these things? Asking these questions gives us a view of the season that God has us in now and what He’s taking us through. So, the first thing is taking stock and being clear on where you are. Then, knowing through prayer and spending time with God, how He can help you to get to that next season.

The other thing is to have support. Make sure you’re not going at it alone. Reach out to someone in your church or find a mentor or a coach to support you and minister to you. When you look at the disciples in the New Testament, Jesus sent them out two by two because He knew that we needed that support. He knew that we would need encouragement, that we’ll have times where we feel like we are doing well but then start to doubt ourselves. Or we start to feel like the journey is too hard, and we need the encouragement of others. 

So, make sure that one, you’re taking stock, you’re checking in, and doing that life checkup. Then, the second part is making sure you have the support you need to be able to thrive and move forward the way God intended.

CONCLUSION

This concludes my interview with Marva. It was such an engaging conversation, and I gleaned so much wisdom. However, the big takeaway for me is that we cannot thrive alone. We must be connected to Jesus because He is the source of abundant life. It’s also important that we stay connected to other people because we’re intended to live in community and gain support from others.

If you enjoyed this interview, I encourage you to click here to purchase a copy of Marva’s devotional book and to access other resources that will help you thrive in the busyness of life. You can also read more about Marva and find ways to connect in her bio below. I do not doubt that her ministry will bless you! 

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